Rusty Kelley

NEW SKIT TECH HUMOR WITH FRIENDS

2012-02-08T12:36:00.000-08:00

VIEW MY NEW COMEDUY VIDEO WITH PLEASURE

2012-01-30T11:17:00.001-08:00

The 13th Disciple from Roller Slizz on Vimeo.

2012-01-30T10:43:00.000-08:00

Best Records of 2011:

Prurient - Bermuda Drain (Hydra Head)
Alberich – Psychology Of Love (Hospital)
Rene Hell - The Terminal Symphony (Type)
Stillbirth - Toward Sailor (Hospital)
Ashdautas / Bone Awl - Split (Black Twilight)
Iceage - New Brigade (Escho)
Raspberry Bulbs - Nature Tries Again (Hospital)
Vatican Shadow - Kneel Before Religious Icons (Hospital)
Vatican Shadow / Contrepoison The Serpent Carries Him Back Into Paradise (Hospital)
Earn - A Following Shadow (PPM)
Strongblood - The Beaten Paths Of Youth (Self Released)
Martial Canterel - You Today (Wierd)
Xeno & Oaklander - Sets and Lights (Wierd)
Inc. - 3 (4ad)
James Ferraro – Far Side Virtual (Hippos In Tanks)
Total Abuse - Prison Sweat (PPM)
White Dog - Triturate (PPM)

BEST LIVE

Yellow Tears SXSW
ANENZEPHALIA, PHARMAKON, OMEI, KAMA RUPA, LUSSURIA+FFH (TESCO FEST)

BITCH PLZ (SERIOUSLY PLEASE) :/

2011-12-29T01:10:00.000-08:00

Edward from Twilight comings up to Bella and is like "look...i have this really serious fantasy of you being fucking by a Nosferatu vampire...like i want you to get just jack hammered / smashed and vaginally destroyed by a buck toothed bald headed long fingered dusty dicked transparent skinned evil as fuck no morals killing people on old merchant ships asshole smelling like a crude oil rig 'Feratu mother fucker. while i jack off. and you just get off on Nosferatu fucking and sucking you...like Bella i really like the idea of 'Feratu's porridge colored / textured snake tounge lickin your second set of lips while you look at me in the eye and scream NOSFERATU IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOUR HUNKY ASS EDWARD!! NOSFERATU IS BETTER BECAUSE HE IS 1,002 YEARS OLD AND YOURE YOUNGER AND HE IS JUST HELLA HOTTER AND VAMPIRICER. and i would just hang my head in shame while Nosferatu makes you cum harder than that time i made my voice sound like Chris Browns voice" and Bella is totally shocked and disgusted and just horrifed. and so Edward is like "oh like no big deal...it was more of a fantasy ... like nothing serious...just like you know something-you know what just forget i mentioned anything ok?" but bellla can't forget it . she is totally freaked the fuck out. like she liked the idea of this beautiful ass boy vampire who is like 104 and like older than her gramps and grams and shit fucking the shit out of her and like wanting to kill her and shit. like shes into kinky shit like that. like Bella was even kind of into the idea of maybe for Eddy's 108th b-day letting him watch her and her dorm roomate Kimberly mess around and suck eachothers tits and and have faux sex but that was a BIG deal to her and shit. But now the fact that Edward is into the idea of her fucing one of those Nosferatu vamps is so UPSETTING. like Bella is like WTF did i get myself into here. So Bella looks at Edward's internet history (he tried to delete it but her Dad was a tech dude at Dells so she knows how to get around that shit...Edward is SO obviously 106...he knows less about computers than her Gramps...like Edward thinks Skype is a flavor of Funnel CaKE) and Bella finds all this Nosferatu and decrepit demon porn (DDP). Just basically hardcore porn of 'Feratu's and cobweb covered demon's fucking pretty white girl's while their sexy refelective skin vampire watch. It's all about weird humiliation for both parties. So Bella is just disgusted but what THE FUCK is she supposed to do. like she married this dude and had a vamp baby by him. So anyway Bella calls loveline later than night....

REMEMBER CERTAIN LIFESTYLE CHOICES UP TO THIS POINT

2011-11-12T10:31:00.000-08:00

I SWEAR I WANTED TO FUCK HER

2011-11-08T22:44:00.001-08:00

Sheneneh Jenkins: A stereotypically flashy Detroit "ghetto girl," she is owner/operator of Sheneneh's Sho' Nuff Hair Salon, whom Lawrence played in drag. Mama Payne and Sheneneh were the only two characters Lawrence played as women on the show, and both characters hated Gina. Though Sheneneh is awkwardly tall and thick in build, she often characterizes herself as a "la-a-a-dy." She's portrayed as being very mouthy, confrontational, and feisty. She lives in the apartment across the hallway from Martin's, and factors into many of the plots by picking fights with Gina, and especially Pam, out in the hallway. Sheneneh has several girlfriends who appear occasionally. Those being shown are Keylolo (rapperYo-Yo), Bonquisha (actress Kim Coles), and Laquita.

Edna (Mama) Payne: Martin's shrill, extremely frenetic, and easily excited mother, who is insanely overprotective of Martin, and who dislikes Gina immensely. Comically, Lawrence's mustache was never covered with stage make-up while in this role. Mama's mustache was occasionally the subject of a sharp retort by Gina when she and Martin argued. She has a brother named Junior (portrayed by John Witherspoon). Mama does not appear in the fifth and final season.

Otis: An abrasive, Draconian, potbellied old man who is always seen in uniform while on his job as a security guard. Otis is usually seen melodramatically attempting to keep order whether there's trouble or not. Because of his immense gut, advanced age, and oafish appearance, Otis is often taken for a weak old man who just acts tough. Because of this, he's often challenged in some way, usually to physical altercations, which he is more than willing to engage in. Surprisingly, his buffoonish style of wrestling and unexpected strength always catch his "antagonists" off guard, and he is invariably the victor, easily defeating all challengers. In his final episode on the show, he moves to an unnamed island. Otis does not appear in the fifth and final season.

Jerome: A loudmouthed, aging, still well-funded, once-flashy but now-faded Detroit pimp. He runs an illicit casino, sports a family-heirloom "gold toof-es" in his mouth, was once voted Detroit's "Player of the Year," and has his sights set on Pam. He often speaks in rhyming sentences. Usually Jerome appears on the scene with his signature tune ("Oooh, oooh, oo-oo-ooh, I say Jerome's in the house, I say Jerome's in the ah-um-ah-um...watch yo' mouth!") Jerome's final appearance on the show as in the episode Uptown Friday Night (that parodies Uptown Saturday Night) which somewhat wrote him out of the series as his last line was "And that's the eeeend!". Jerome does not appear in the fifth and final season.

Roscoe: A 10-year-old kid with a constantly runny nose and a very smart mouth. Lawrence played the role by standing on his knees, with shoes attached to his kneecaps. Roscoe only appears once during the fifth and final season.

Dragonfly Jones: A martial arts "expert" who is beaten up in nearly every appearance. He always seems to owe money to a real martial artist, who is actually a student of Dragonfly's named Kenji, who would often beat Dragonfly up when he refused to pay him some small sum he was owed. Dragonfly does not appear in the fifth and final season.

Bob: A white man who works in an unknown capacity at the marketing firm where Gina is employed, Bob is best described as a stereotypical surfer-dude-cum-redneck. He speaks in a Southern Californian accent mixed with a Southern twang, and often uses words like "dude" and "man," even in professional settings. Lawrence achieved his appearance as this character with stage make-up and a prosthetic nose attachment to make him appear white, as well as wearing a long, blond mullet wig to complete the look. Bob only appears in 2 episodes, once in the first season and again in the second season.

Elroy Preston: The fictional "Godfather of Black Surf Music" who is now completely forgotten and washed up. Preston works as an auto mechanic, and is best known for randomly breaking into song while performing his mechanical duties. He often distracts himself and irritates others when reminiscing on things that involve his trademark song, which consists only of Preston singing "Don't you know no good!" over and over. He is seen mostly in the first three seasons. He makes one appearance in the fifth and final season.

King Beef: Cole's favorite '70s blaxploitation movie actor, which is actually Lawrence in a huge bodysuit. Whenever trouble arises, he feels the overwhelming need to dance. It doesn't matter if he is on the run from Godzilla—he always finds time for dancing, and always with his scantily clad female co-stars flanking him. He is only seen during the first two seasons.

REMINDER TO STOP PUKING

2011-09-27T21:18:00.001-07:00

I only faintly exist right now.

A BRIGHT SHINING STAR

2011-09-22T22:10:00.000-07:00

///

for

MY STUDIES IN THEOLOGY WITH MY YOUNG FRIEND

2011-09-21T18:57:00.000-07:00

DUDE

YOU REMEMBER THAT SHIT?

FUCKING BRUTAL MAN

Fucking one day my pal jesus was – oh this was awhile ago by the way

Fucking my friend jesus was in trouble with some law dogs and this day he was getting all whipped and shit. We were all watching this shit go down..couldn’t do shit. Fucking roman dudes and all. Had fucking cross bows and shit.

Anyway jesus was getting the shit whipped out of him. And not only was he bleeding like a bitch in heat but he was forced NO JOKE MAN. To carry a big huge wooden cross on his fucking back. Like for fucking MILES man. MILES AND SHIT. We were all watching his ass. Like getting beaten the fuck UP. Hard. Like I wanted to jump in there and save a bitch but like centurians man. You can’t touch those dogs you know?

I was there for my bro at heart you know? Like trying to psychically show him I was there. And shit but you know what are you gonna do right?

So jesus finally gets to this hill right. And we’re all …what the fuck is he gonna do with this huge wooden thing? Like what could he POSSIBLY use it for? Like are they gonna make him fuck his mom with this shit or something?

(laughing)

but no there were like two others bros all fucking NAILED to the cross. Like straight up chilling up there. Nails and all. Bleeding out of their hands and feet. Just fucked up there. All moaning and shit. It was fucing nuts!!

So jesus plops down on his knees. Cries like a bitch for a sec.

I was like all thining “yo dude be a man about this shit…fucking man up. Don’t cry motherfucker!! Like you’re making me look bad you know? I want to get laid at some point dude!!”

I know it sounds harsh but seriously. Fucking bitch shit.

Then right…we all knew that shit was coming. The fucking centurians nail has ass to the cross ! no lie. Fucking bang bang bang. Pop those babies in there. Make him cross his fucking feet over eachother and nail those together. Fucking s&m kinky shit dude!!

Anyway the prop the cross up. He’s in between these other sad saps. And he starts going off about how we don’t know what we’re doing

And I’m like hell yeah they do dude! They’re nailing your ass to a cross! Fucking DEAL WITH IT.

He goes off about dying for our sins. I’m like chill with the philosophy. I dropped that class for a reason right??

Dude goes off rambling for a second then FINALLY DIES.

I mean I was the dudes friend and all but jesus….he was getting bitchy at the end. Like I was even like…get it over with already. Even the centurians were trying to get out of there. But they had to stay till the end.

Like I swear if those ‘turians walked off for a sec I would have popped those naily poos out like beef jerky and set my buddy free. Like lassie and shit. But like hey…no way to do it right…like sorry bro. gotta chill. Sorry to watch you die and blabber on but chill the fuck out.

Anyway the story doesn’t end there…

Jesus dies and we all go home and smoke some old style herbs and chill and sec. just kinda feeling bummed. Nothing too big. Got my dick sucked that night. Like I was over it.

Anyway couple days later I FUCKING SEE JESUS..hes walking around. Like he never died. I’m like WHAT? DID I JUST SEE A GHOST? Then I go up to jesus and high five him just to see if I’m trippin or what and then he’s like YO I AM A GHOST! Straight up. I was fucking freaking out.

Dude calmed me down. Gave me a xanax and shit. Sat me down. Talked me through it. Gave me some OJ. Total trip sitter like. Dude tells me he’s JUST BEEN TO HELL. That he GOT OUT. And now he’s about to rise to HEAVEN to chill with his dad and another ghost. Fucking slimmer and shit.

I couldn’t deal with it. Like too much for my mind. So I run away like a tripped out bitch. Like dude…imagine your worst shroom trip then multiply it by 500…no 1000! Then realize you aren’t even ON DRUGS. That you are freaked cause you SAW A REAL GHOST. Like I never have seen one again. I’m not lying dude. ..

That’s why my hair is white! Seriously…I mean I dye it obviously…but if I let my roots grow out I’d be white as a bitch in shit.

Anyway. Hope I didn’t bore your ass with that.

just was a weird story is all.

Thought you might wanna hear it…

How old am i?

I’m fucking OLD DUDE. I don’t look it but I’m like VAMPIRE old. Like BILL COMPTON OLD.

But it’s cool. My dick still works ok.

(old picture of him calming me down during my trip..i was FREAKING OUT...i was rolling hard too)

"INTERESTING" BABY SHOWER VIDEOS :(

2011-09-20T21:21:00.000-07:00

dear future alien / human hybids?? i want to tell you about my son :

TROY

pic:

got back from highschool last month and has been talking about wanting to be a video game designer (/ programer??) and i am worried.

first of all he flunked out of all his computer classes. and now he thinks hes an exel genius.

for christ sakes he couldn't even run msdos if his life depened on it.

but for some reason his dad rented a blu ray copy of WARGAMES featuring a young matthew mchaunaday and now the kid thinks he can be the spalding gray of video games / computer animation projects.

holy fuck is this kid fucked / deluded. i tried telling him he was being nutzoid. but sheesh did he ever get pissed.

in fact he got so pissed he pissed all over the good toilet seat and even spewed a few drops on the outer edges (in the cracks / divotes where the toilet and carpet meet) .

boy did i get mad . i slapped him a good one on his dick right after he shook out a few drops. i got a bit of piss on my index nail but it's a press on anyway so i popped it right off.

then (in all honest) i took a straight dump while my son sat around waiting for me to finish my lecture (series ??)

well i wiped and got the fuck out of that pissed covered bathroom (forgot to flush...that's what husbands are for :P)

then i sat my boi down and said look. you don't know html from java from flash from a pokedex. it aint gonna heppen.

so my kid whine and cried.

then i rubbed his belly like a baby buddah and he chilled.

then me and my husband went to a couples only sex workshop and forgot about our son.

the tv is his babysitter.

his sister enjoys the net more than him (that's why i though this whole programmer shtick was so weird???!)

me and my husband learned where the male clitoris is (his dick) and i learned how to finally make him cum (you rub the shit out of it / alternately lick it)

anyway he got home. then i showed up in my car at home. after getting a route 44 slushie.

the kids were fast awake and i had some splainin to do (to their FUCKING FACES)

- from your mom age unknown

THE PYSCHICAL PLAIN OF THOUGHT ON PAPER

2011-05-20T15:57:00.000-07:00

OUT NOW FROM CALICO GROUNDS:

THIS IS WHAT YOUR FATHER WOULD HAVE WANTED by Rusty Kelley- Magazine / Zine (?)

contains writing and images from here and elsewhere.

BUY HERE:

http://calicogrounds.bigcartel.com/product/cg14-this-is-what-your-father-would-have-wanted-by-rusty-kelley

In Rusty Kelley’s This Is What Your Father Would Have Wanted, the convoluted and circuitous netherworld of “net” memes and cyber vernacular stands as a zeitgeist to the breakdown of communication, both on a macro and micro level, found in contemporary American society. Ridden with emulative non-sequiturs in the respective realms of thought, grammatical modes, and structured communication, the work most brazenly critiques and appraises the maelstrom of semiotic offenses found in today’s popular culture through a highly sardonic and hyper-aware approach. Kelley primarily steers his commentary toward a limpid but wry examination of modernity and especially its tendency worship at the altar of the crude, callow, and yet eminently puissant temple of anti-communication and dis-connectivity. He tempers such an expansive and satiric approach with a more earnest and personal methodology through a series of narratives and allegories of his own experiential interactions with the repercussions of this race toward oblivion. Finally, Kelley utilizes a graphic element to even further illustrate the extreme, lurid repercussions of the future’s degenerative decadence. This Is What Your Father Would Have Wanted neither celebrates nor laments our decay. It is neither gleeful nor elegiac in tone. Rather, it is an acceptance of inevitability if not reluctance. Perhaps the work even approaches an expiatory and propitiatory tone in regard to its own wretched indulgences. It is a work by anyone and for no one.

-Charlie Willhoit

Sealed in a poly bag, and covered with a vellum dust jacket. Edition of 75.

My Modern Girlfriend Part 1 By Rusty Kelley

2011-04-02T20:40:00.000-07:00

Part 1 in a multipart novella (i did it) to be posted weekly on this thing.

Download part 1 of My Modern Girlfriend by Rusty Kelley here:

MY MODERN GIRLFRIEND PART 1 (pdf)

The first two pages can be read here:

What are you fucking doing with your life

Digging a deep well searching for sacred ancient water type shit

Whats so special about the water

It’s more like blood. More like blood I would say. Ancient blood or something

Whait is this like a metaphor or are you serious?

What?

How did this conversation start?

What did you ask me

I asked…wiat

What?

I asked where the party was tonight?

Im not going out

Oh yeah?

Yeah im ah im going to chat mostly

With who

With…never mind

What? Tell me

Chat with my girlfiend

What?

I hav ea long distance girlfriend

Oh yeah

How did you meet?

At journalism camp a couple months ago over the summer

That’s wehre you were?

Yyeah I wrote you that ltter

What letter

That 10 page letter

That was just 10 pages of photocopied game genie code

Yeah

So how wouldi know where it was from or who

Because I’m the only person you know who does art

That was art?

Yeah

It was like contemparty art

So like modern art?

Yeah I guess so.

Hmm

Yeah…

Uhhh

Fuuuuuuuuuck

Uhhhhhhhh

Fuuuuuuuuck

Uuuuuuuhggggggggg

Uhgggggggggggg

Uhggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaa

Eeowwwfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuh

Ueeeefhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuueeeeeehhhhhhhhf

Peeefffffffffffffooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Uuuuuughhhhhhhhhwwwwwwwwwwgggggggg

Mmmmmmmmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhggggggggg

Flluuuuuuufhhhhgggggggggggggggggggggggg

Uuuuuuuuughhhhhhh

Fuuuuuughaaaaaaaaaa

Eeeeenggggggggggggggggggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Uuuuuuuuuggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Nuhgggguuuuuuuugughgghhgghghgughgughgughggughgug

(spews spit and seizes)

muffoggggggriajaoaoaoaoaoajfjfjfjfoaoaoao

(huge erection from oher boy)

nuuyeeeuhugggunewoongdddnuguggugugguguggu

(boy spits out loogies)

blegublblblblbbl

(a portal opens and the boys spiritually enter it)

blblblbldlelelelelelelelellelelblelelellele

lblblblblblelelellelelelelelelele

blblelelelelleleleleleleleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

(a demon reenters the physical earth plane.)

(the demon starts to cast a deep spell on the two boys.)

(both boys eyes are open but white. They are standing but slouching slightly. Their mouths are wide open and they are slightly drooling)

uuuuuugh

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh

uuuuuuuuuuuugh

(the demon puts the boys in a trance by slaughtering a rare white bred owl and splatters red naturistic owl blood all over the boys and the trance begins. Total fucking demon control.)

ugh

ugfh

ughghghg

ugh

(the demon is red with tons of little black thick fiber like baby hairs poking out in tufts. His/her eyes are bright yellow and have black slits in them. His/her is really short as tall as a little toddler and his feet are really long and big with black tufs of hair coming out. His teeth are really sharp and white and he has a mean grin and no hair. His ears are sharp and pointy and he had no tits and no nipple but a belly button and the demon has a black loin cloft and inside is a deep black and purple pussy that is really fucking wet. Tons of white sloppy pussy juice that is so thick and built up from infinite horniess that it looks like vanilla icing but the pussy still has an earth clit and everything. No butt though. )

demon: enuh eehe heheh eeh eh eh ehe h nuh nug nugn nug nugn nug nup nup heheheheheheheheheh neg he he h ehut hutu nut nut nutn uheheeh hut hut eeehehehehehehehehehheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeheheh

ugh

demon: deez deez liltle earth boyes will fucking learn to not fuck with my portal or shit. They don’t know the demsion im from or what they just fucking beckoned. They don’t know what they asked for. They asked for this shit. Evil lil kids don’t know what evil is. Hhehehehehehehhhhhhhhhhhhhhehehehehehee eh eh eh eh ehehehe hut hut hut hut too hututut

(the demon rapes the fuck out of them of course. Although he only has a vaginal entereance the demon because he hypnotized the dudes also basically froze them solid. So the demon places both boys on their backs and unzips their pants. The demon takes one of the boys dicks and streches it as much as the demon can. Then the demon takes a long ruler and tapes the flaccid steched dick to the ruler with clear scotch tape (double sided) and then fucks the shit out of the frozen / hypnotized kid and then he takes the other kid and unzips his pants and undoes his underwear and then notices the other kids dick is rock hard so he waits at least 5 hours for it to calm down and die and then the demon tapes a black travis barker drumstick and tapes that to the kids flaccid unstechtced dick with masking tape used in painting your daughters room purple (bad choice ) then he fucked the shit out of the opther kid. Both kids get horrible horrible horrible infections virually ontheir dicks that spread.) (spread far)

(spread real far)

(spread up into your kid brains)

(your lil kid brians)

uuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhh

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhghgkkK!!!

eueehfhfhufugughuguguguguggugggghghghghhgblehfffffffffbeeeeeeclchchchchchhhhhhhhhuguuuuuuuuhekEKKKK!K!K!K!K!

AEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGHHHHHHHH!!!!

(vomiting blood and slime)

-----

Part 1 in a multipart novella to be posted weekly on this thing.

Download part 1 of My Modern Girlfriend by Rusty Kelley here:

MY MODERN GIRLFRIEND PART 1 (pdf)

THE FACES OF EVIL BITCHES

2011-02-24T20:16:00.000-08:00

DINKY DIARY ENTRY PART 1

2011-01-19T21:11:00.000-08:00

Hey there is is mother darlina robertts from Darcquloo indiana missapissipi

my adlult son ttlyler was watchin the old 90s ghostbubsters dvd tv shows cartoon and he was watchin the 3 episode in the second season of the searies and was lookin at my sayin "MAMA this here ghost tried to stick his weird clawdad up my butt n shit" i was like tyler come on man your an adult that fuckin bullshitin my man and then he walked into his bedroom and showed

me what he was sayin and was saying

I WAS RAPED BY A WEIRD GHOST THING MOM I WAS RAPED AND MOLESTED

nd i said do you even know what dat means boi?

and he said

raped = hugs

and i said NO !

and h3 said

moolested = your hair being comded

and i was lile HELL NAW

and hw was saying then he has a ectomorphic lil friend who keeps brushing his short hair do

and i was saying to stop tellin people the mutant ghosty thingy weirdy thing was raping him cuz thats gunna frex people on peole out

and hw as saying ok what doos i calls it mams

and i was saying say

that fucking ghost comed by hair reel good and took all the tangles out

and he said shit waish the fucking slimeball of a ghost shit would suck my dick hard baby

and i was like BUGGIN OUT

and he was a wigger in my dreams once

he was a young wigger

cuz tyyler was a halloween coustome of slime shady in 1999 when mnm was on trl and then he wanted to be a slime shady fro haloween in 1999 for trl xmas

fuck and now my son ty-ball thinks fuckin green ass slimeball mutant ghost plasm specrere are brushing his short ass hair?

my boy be craz

wills he ever gets married

hell no motha fucka

over and outs

real nice thoughts

2010-12-18T23:01:00.000-08:00

gilgamesh is my name and playing cards with my old friend is my game. and i don't want to skin your teed like a needy bead baby in a shampoo listening party my dog

i bought my son a toy called a neural blast oid and then my son's soul started shimmering and shaking like a new rodent peering into the soul of a army wife

kick that bug and make it a bug. bugs are named bugg ett because of a new law that states if you be old you be gay and then the question mark started wishing it was a needle dicked mail man who steals the mail and fucks da package mama

GO TO THE NEW SCHOOL WITH THE EVIL LIST MAKER RONALD PEABODY. DEN GO TO THE OTHA DIMENSION WITH YOUR BROTHER IN LAW LEWIS THE BITCH. FUCK THAT LITTLE SKIN ORDERER NAMED PILL MAN MEE NAM GOO BOID FUCK DA WORLD.

is that your blog?

yeas

fuck dat boi you need to get laid ya nerd. ya heard

no i have a family and i only blog on my days off.

u lair!

no i be telling da toof

then why are you so fast and ugly/

cause my dad brought my up with bad values sstems

go eat a lil caterpillar. it didn't do ya no harm ya hear?

that caterpillar is gonna turn into a pokemon card file

learn the value of a hug

da dali mama said dat right?

yah mon.

(the guy takes out a big pipe and chugs a gateraid)

MULTIPLAYER VS SINGLE PLAYER MODE

2010-11-30T18:20:00.000-08:00

PEEL ME

2010-11-12T02:41:00.000-08:00

DEEP TISSUE

2010-10-31T15:44:00.000-07:00

NEW WORK 1

2010-10-23T13:47:00.000-07:00

"Boy With Prosthetic Arm Sleeps On A Couch In The Yale Center for British Art"
600x800
JPEG

MY FAVORITE LIFE FORM PT.1

2010-10-21T16:40:00.000-07:00

ANIMATED PRESS CLIPPINGS #1

2010-10-09T20:30:00.000-07:00

INTERVIEW WITH THIS BLOG'S FOUNDER AND CREATOR RUSTY KELLEY ON INTERNET RADIO SHOW "CEASE TO EXIST" HOSTED BY VERONICA ORTUñO AVAILABLE HERE:

CEASE TO EXIST

there is some music after the interview but if you don't like it you can fuck off you little piglet

LOW

2010-10-05T00:03:00.000-07:00

SCARED FOR REAL

2010-09-27T00:08:00.000-07:00

LEARN TO LOVE

2010-09-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

EVERYTHING

2010-09-22T10:37:00.001-07:00

i think this video encompasses a lot

PURE BODY PAIN (PBP)

2010-09-20T01:00:00.000-07:00

my son arachnid is a freeloader by heart and a male maid by forced payment.

my daughter daddy long legs (DLL) (we call her dill for short) is a female twerp with an attitude meander

oh these horrible kids of mine while be the def of me.

when i was a girl we listened to classic rap all day and now these kids go crazy for katy gaga and tyler perry.

mama meeaig. i used to actually sacrfice shit to a satanic deity when i was a girl. no joke hojo. we would pour bubbling hot bubbles all over crows and birds and watch em die for the lord of the land (snaytan)

my kids are just gods lil angles compared to what i was getting into at age 29 - 30. holy shit my kids are good.

my son is a maid and my daughter is a twerpling.

i've forced them to fuck, yes. but not sexually.

psychically.

they wer forced to meditate in a ultra sycic way and sensual way so their minds would mled together.

they did it and now they are psycho sexual dominate twins with a bad attitude.

they always try to pik up tips from me.

here is our recent photo album from the rides we did at the stations at the ride parck:

I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY VERY REAL AND PERSONAL PAIN

2010-09-09T22:54:00.000-07:00

I BE CRYING
SAD LIL BITCH RIGHT HERE
THIS GIRL NEEDS A HUGE HUG
I NEED A BAND D AIDE FOR THE SOUL
I WISH I COULD CURL UP WITH THE GOOD BOOK AND A GLASS OF MY FAVORTIE DRINK
I NEED A CHANCE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT WITH GOD AND MY DAUGHTER LISA
THAT BITCH HAS ISSUES
CAUSE OF ME
HER BAD LIL MOMOOSA
YEAH IM A SHITTY PARENT
BUT AT LEAST I ADMIT IT TO BE TRUE
NOT LIKE THESE OTHER TRIFLING BITCHES I KNOW OF
I KNOW I SHOVED MY DAUGHTERS IN A POT OF BOIILING STUFF
I KNOW THAT TO BE TRUE
I JUST NEED SOME ME TIME
JUST NEED TO CHILL AND LISTEN TO SOME SHIT
LIKE THE SOUNDTRACK TO TOM AND GERRY OR SOME SHIT

over n out

LISTENING TO YOUR OWN BAND AND READING FACEBOOK ALL DAY

2010-08-31T17:37:00.000-07:00

CHILLING ON FACEBOOK AND LISTENING TO YOUR OWN BAND from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

*FOR MAXIMUM RESULTS PLEASE USE FULLSCREEN

WE NEED A GIRLS NIGHT GIRL NOW
SAP
ASAP
I MISS YOU GIRL
GIRL I MISS YOU
WE NEVER CHILL GIRL
YOU MY BOO GIRL
I LOVE YOU BOO GIRL
WE USED TO CHILL AND LISTEN TO RADIO RAP AND KBD MP3S AND CHILL WITH A GIRLY DRINK
WHERE MY BITCH NICOLE AT SHE MY GIRL WE USED TO LISTEN TO FIDGIT HOUSE TOGETHER AND DRINK JOOSE
WHY DON'T WE EVER HANG OT?
YOU ALWAYS AT THE BAR WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND GIRL
WE NEED A GIRLS NITE ASAP
SERIOUSLY GIRL
WHY YOU NEVER TEXT ME BACK?
FUCK YOU GIRL
NOT A REAL FRIEND GIRL
GIIRL I MISS YOU BITCH

OPEN TO IDEAS

2010-08-26T10:43:00.001-07:00

letter to a guy from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

ANTI-FACEBOOK RANT OF THE DAY

2010-08-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

DO YOU LIKE ME?

2010-08-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

THAT SHIT IS LACED WITH POISONED OXYCONTIN

2010-08-01T21:00:00.000-07:00

UPSET

2010-07-23T10:50:00.001-07:00

ACID BASED DEATH

2010-06-25T14:42:00.000-07:00

YO SUP

SUP WITH MY BROTHER MILO PRANKING MY BROS BEFORE HE IS EVEN OUT OF JR. HIGH?

MY LIL BRO KEEPS PRANKING MY BROS (11TH + 10TH GRADE) BY WRITING ON THEIR FACES WHILE THEY SLEEP (NOT EVEN DRUNK YET) AND BECAUSE HE KEEPS WAKING UP MY HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS WITH SCARY GHOST FACE MAKS BUT IT'S NOT FAIR BECAUSE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO WAIT TILL COLLEGE TRO PRANK A FRIEND. MY LIL BRO IS ANNOYIN A FUCK. HE'S LUCKY I DON'T BEAT DAT ASS.

THIS IS A PRANK MY LIL BRO GILLET DID TO MY FRIEND'S MOM:

the night we pranked my friends mom from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

youtube was bummed

THIS IS A VIDEO MY DAD POSTED ON YOUTUBE OF MY SIST WHEN SHE 'UATED

MY DAUGHTERS GRADUATION SPEECH STREAMING ONLINE NOW from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

she is going to work at a computer related job

straight bitch and snitchen mothua focukers don't know who

FOR MOMMIES AND DADDIES ONLY

2010-06-07T08:40:00.000-07:00

ACHING

2010-05-17T14:38:00.000-07:00

observe

2010-05-07T23:51:00.000-07:00

WHAT A BITCH

2010-05-06T16:18:00.000-07:00

OH FUCK YOU LITTLE COCKSUCKER I HATE YOU SO MUCH I COULD JUST PITCH A FREAKIN FIT OVER YOU GOD DAMN LITTLE THING. OH SHOOT I REALLY HATE THIS. OW I REALLY AM HURT BY THE SHIT YOU ARE KICKING AROUND AT ME. YOU ARE SO FRICKIN UGLY YOU REMIND ME OF WHY I HATE DUST ALL OVER MY HOUSE. I ONCE LEFT MY SON IN HIS CRIB FOR MINUTES AND CAME BACK AND THE CRIB WAS COVERED IN DUST BECAUSE MY SON ATTRACTS DAMN DUST ALL OVER THIS CRIB. THE CRIB IS NOT MADE OF PLASTIC BUT OF PURE SOLID WOOD. MY SON GNAWS ON THE DAMN WHOOD ALL DAY SO HIS GUMS BE BLEEDING ALL OVER THIS WOOD AND HIS BABY BANKETS. BABY BLOOD IS DUSGISTING AND SICK'NIN AND SICK. IMAGINE ME SON TOMMY GRAWNING ON A WOODEN CRIB BAR SO HARD THAT SPLINTERS OF BRAWN MAGHONEY WOOD SPLINTER IN HIS GUMS AND SHE BLEEDS ON THE BEAUTIFUL DUSTY WOOD.

ARG.

THIS IS A VIDEO OF ME (so you can understand my thought protest):

MY THOUGHT PROCESSES from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

how i think in real terms

HERE IS A VIDEO INTERIVEW I DID WITH THE FUTURE HOLOGRAM OF MY SON TOMMY WHO IN THE FUTURE CHANGED HIS NAME AND HIS BIRTHDAY (remember tommy in the present is only 1 yeaqrs old but this is a projected video hologram interview i did with my new software mommy bought me):

HOW MY SON TOMMY THINKS from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

he is out there! (?)

final thought:

MINI POST

2010-05-04T10:59:00.001-07:00

A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT A DAD AND HIS SON GOING TO RAVES AND ROLLING IN 2000

2010-04-30T17:35:00.000-07:00

PART 2

PART 3

PART 4

PART 5

PART 6

PART 7

PART 8

PART 9

POST ABOUT MY GIFTED CHILDREN

2010-04-22T17:37:00.000-07:00

HERE IT IS. MY POST CONTAING SOME RECORDED VIDEO OF MY GIFTED ADOPTED KIDS MORMA AND TYKO. THESE KIDS ARE CRAZY GIFTED. THEY ARE ULTRA CREATIVE THEY ARE REALLY SPIRITUAL AND THEY READ THE SECRET LIKE IT'S THEIR BIBLE (IT IS). THESE GIFTERS ARE ULTRA IN TOUCH WITH THEIR BODY, YOGA, POSES, SPIRITUAL STUFF AND THEY ARE INTO THEIR OWN LITTLE WORLD OF GEEKY GIFTED KID SHIT I DONT EVEN WANT TO KNOW ABOUT. (SERIOUSLY FUCK IT). THEY DON'T PLAY SPORT BECAUSE THEY ARE SADLY GIFTED AND THEY OBVIOUSLY DON'T WATCH SPORT EITHER. THE GIFTED GIRLS (GGs for short) TEND TO ONLY READ AMERICAN GIRL DOLL BOXES AS WELL. THEY ALL STARTED READING WITH HELP AT AGE 1 OR 1.5 NO JOKE. THEY ALL STARTED TALKING YEARS LATER. JUST CHECK OUT THE GIFTED KIDS BABY. WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD. IT'S A TRIP!!

MY GIFTED SON TIM AND MY GIFTEN DAUGHTER LESTER from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

they are talking about current medical issues in time space

MY GITED SON TICKLER AND MY GIFTED DAUGHTER MORMA from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

talking about getting your hands tied and squirted with the hose.

(keep in mind they are still kids at heart and psychically too i might add)

WHEN GIFTED KIDS VERBALLY ABUSE YOU from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

you are no match as an average adult. sorry to say honey.

GIFTED KIDS TALK ALIENS AND CONSIRACTY from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

creepy stuff. who knows how these kids work in their own smart minds.

INTENSE DEPRESSION DUE TO INTENSELY REAL INTERNET REAL ADDICTION

2010-04-19T20:04:00.001-07:00

timothy mcveigh as frontman of power electronics project "mandation" circa 2010

timothy mcveigh as a front man of power electronics / industrial project "mandation" circa 2010

ART OB-SESSIONS

2010-04-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

i am current ultra ob sessed with the venus de milp carving on view ath the austin mesium of art this week.

check out this venus de milp (it's above me)

the venus de miley is one of my favorite werks for carving because the babe is naked and has no arms to fight off attackers / lovers (editors note. this note was made in bad taste and not very good to laugh at. bad boy)

the venus de milet was the reason the velvet underground did that one song

it was there main infleunce on the song and it's chord pregressions.

art out

A SERIOUS POST REGARDING THE IMPORTANCE OF THE BABYSITTER'S CLUB MOVIE TRAILER ON MY LIFE IN THE MID 90S

2010-04-07T16:54:00.000-07:00

BSC FOR LIFE from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

yeah baby (austin powers)

as younger oaf in the 2nd grade i would see the trailer for the baby sitter's club movie on a day by day basis. the song good by better than ezra added to the perfect backing soundtrack to my obsession with the young rachel leigh cook and alex mack (larisa olynck). i did not lust after these girls as much as i felt truly in love with them. i remember talking my mom into renting the film when it came out on video that summer and literally crying at the scene when that one bitch runs away from her mom and stepdad in the rain. these girls truly got to me. i can rember having multiple dreams where the song good by better than ezra played on a constant loop while i hung out with and later held hands with girls like rachel leigh cook and alex mack (larisa olynck). this trailer represents the dream logic of being in love with people that do not exist. they are these strange half humans / half ideas picked from the edges of fiction and non reality only to inhibit and prolong your uncounsicous and consiocuos desire and endless feelings of lust and longing for girls that are not truly attainable.

smoke some weed and cry now doggy.

I LISTEN TO RADIO RAP

2010-04-05T23:49:00.000-07:00

"my name is goo, with a drink for you" - goo

me likey top 10 rap hits.

i do okay. why do i have to be ashamed. that is my favorite band.

whatever is a top 40 hit is my favorite band. i like rap. i hate pop (miley cirus, taylor swaft, ashley tisdale, salena gomez, backstreeb boys, nsuck etc)

my favorite type of band is a rap band or rap producer. i will aruge with you about how autotune / time i s recording the ruining industry. don't me wrong i like the jackson 5 (when mikey was whitey) because i like stright pop but when the time came for me to grow up and stop listening to green day and weezer i started only listening to rap through the radio.

i do not under any curmimstances listen to underground / indie / less popular rap.

example...i liked kelis - milkshake when it was around in 2004 or whatever but now i do not listen to kelis. if she has a new hit that was heard on the radio then maybne...but if i were to actually download her new album without hearing her hit on the radio then i would basically be listening to sage francis or whatever indie rap is out there.

when i go to a party and someone is djing random shit i don't want ot hear duran duran or whtever 80s shit i want ot straight up hear lil wayne. if you play a nelly or shaggy song i might get into it because it was a former radio rap hit but anything else is fucking childs play (chucky rules (childs play + rugrats))

most kids in college want to hear nothing but radio rap. there is usually one kid who lieks clipse or something indie but mostly everyone at the rager likes current radio singles like whatever drake should be releasing as a hit int he coming eves.

i love radio rap.

so when oyu say to me "what bands do you like"

i will say nothing but i will want to say radio rap.

radio rap is my fav band

mrs. doubtfire being one of the most fucked up movies to be invented

2010-04-03T16:09:00.000-07:00

mrs. doubtfire is so fucked up.

it disgusts me to think of a father wearing latex and wigs just to play with his miniature children. jesus christ. that one girl from matilda was in it and it shocks me to this day that the film matilda exists. it's about a psycho girl who is a ghost weaver. think about the plot it;s sicking.

misses didfire is perverted to the extreme. take my kids out of hte threatre. luckly it was only in theatures back in 90s. when i see mr.sdoubtfire it makes me miss my kids irl.

mommy mrs.s here kids.

MY PERSONAL HUMOR MIXED WITH SOME NEW ART I JUST RECENTLY MADE (2 min or less ago)

2010-03-25T17:55:00.000-07:00

THROW UP HUMOUR from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

this is key basic throw up humor. stage `1'.

here are some new pieces of the series of art i made:

unititled. 2009. jpeg image.

unititled. 2009. jpeg image.

unititled. 2009. jpeg image.

2nd series:

unititled. 2009. jpeg image.

unititled. 2009. jpeg image.

unititled. 2009. jpeg image.

if you want to use these ina galery know that they are meant to be printed out via low rez and taped or tacked to the wall. or they should be shown through a high quality screen if possible. thats the idea.

DECIMATE ALL HUMAN LIFE FUCK IT THE MESSAGE OF AVATAR IS A FUCKING JOKE. TITANIC SUCKED AND THIS SUCKS WORSE. LEO GOT OLDER AND LESS HOT IN THIS BITCHES HUMBLE OPINON.

LETTER FROM A 7 YEAR OLD GIRL TO ANOTHER 7 YEAR OLD GIRL

2010-03-24T10:02:00.001-07:00

thoughts on...

2010-03-14T22:38:00.000-07:00

what is the name of that harry potter school? from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

someone check that website for me to find the answer. movie or book.

MY TOT ON Bethenny Frankenstein frankie from the real housweives of new yawrk (york) city:

this bitch needs a fucking reality check. jesus fucking christ. i watch this show and everyone has there problems and orbs and spheres and shit but this fuckin cunt (excuse my french.actually dont! i speak my mind and speak my mind to my fellow people / bloggers and bloggos) needs a reality check get off your high horse (more like high midget pony) and get off the horse!

A YONG ADULT LESSON FOR YOUNG ADULT FATHERS AND MATHERS

2010-03-08T00:13:00.001-08:00

Tim and Joshy rappin and talkin it out from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

annoying how people think they are talented just because they know how to ryhm and rape good

WHAT TO NAME YOUR THING HUMAN SMALL from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

we name it good

DRINKING SOME BEERS AND WATCHING SOME COMMARCIALS

2010-03-03T20:44:00.000-08:00

Drinkin Some Beers And Watching Some Commercials from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

my highschool friend tinkerbell (ask me in person. story = too long for the internet) tells me about his favorite pass time. like that lipe ring foo.

DEPPLY WORRIED ABOUT MY KIDS PART 1

2010-03-02T21:16:00.001-08:00

this is the currnet look my kids marty and barty (borther and sister) have been looking like. you have no idea how much it upsets my mother pat. the kids see grandma pat and she sees them and can't even bear to give the the gobs of presents and gifts she used to give. they look so weird. i mean i was a goth in highschool but i was more punk based looking. i'm scared. grow up grow up grow up!!!

SLOWLY DECIDING TO END YOUR BASIC LIFE FUNCTIONS

2010-02-28T22:25:00.000-08:00

SO I HACKED INTO THE PHONE RECORDING PLACE AND GOT THIS TO YOU

2010-02-26T20:59:00.000-08:00

Recorded Phone Conversation #1 from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

cheap computer chips store vs man searching for cheap computer cheaps but under confusing times in life style and practicing.

SLICED UP PIECES OF FLAB

2010-02-25T21:59:00.000-08:00

[Speaking:]
You know x-mas
Was made for the children
Destiny's Child
2G x-mas
Destiny's Child
Ah-ah
Ah

[Verse 1:]
On the 8th day of Christmas my baby gave to me
a pair of chloe shades & a diamond belly ring
On the 7th day of x-mas my baby gave to me
a nice back rub and he massaged my feet
On the 6th day of x-mas my baby gave to me
a cropped Jacket with dirty denim jeans
On the 5th day of x-mas my baby gave to me
a poem that he wrote for me

[Bridge:]
The the feelin' that I feel is so good
He makes me feel so in lo-lo-lo-lo-love
If he only knew what he does to me
My man, my man, my baby
Oh he makes me feel so lovely, so sexy
I'm so in lo-lo-lo-lo-love
How I love him for his generousity
My man, my man, my baby

[Chorus:]
Doesn't it feel like x-mas (it feels lovely)
Doesn't it feel like x-mas (it feels so lovely)
Doesn't it feel like x-mas (wooooooooaaaaaaahhhh)
Yes it feels like x-mas
Doesn't it feel like x-mas (it feels lovely)
Doesn't it feel like x-mas (it feels so lovely)
Doesn't it feel like x-mas (the spirit of x-mas)
Yes it feels like x-mas

[Verse 2:]
On the 4th day of x-mas my baby gave to me
a candlelit dinner just me & my honey
On the 3rd day of x-mas my baby gave to me
a gift certificate to get my favorite CD's
On the 2nd day of x-mas my baby gave to me
the keys to a CLK Mercedes
On the 1st day of x-mas my baby gave to me
quality T-I-M-E

[Repeat Bridge]
[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge 2:]
If it feels like x-mas
Yes it's x-mas
Bro's x-mas
Mom's x-mas
Dad's x-mas
Bro's x-mas
Feels like x-mas
Feels like x-mas

Michelle's x-mas
Beyonce's x-mas
Kelly's x-mas
mom's x-mas
dad's x-mas
bro's x-mas
Feels like x-mas
Feels like x-mas

GUEST POST: FROM RYAN FOSTER CIRCA 2007

2010-02-22T10:03:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007
12:44 am
YOUR SHITS ALL FUCKED UP AND YOU SOUND RETARDED

today i slept in and missed philosophy class. philosophy seems to me the biggest crock of bullshit ever, at least the community college version of it. i seriously have learned nothing in the 2 months i've been in that class. the teacher, god bless him, is a nice enough guy, really old and hard of hearing, but he seems to enjoy talking about the subject matter. if only it were subject matter that was interesting in the least! he seems to think it is though, or else i guess he would probably croak from sheer boredom like i almost do every single day.

i also did not buy the right textbook for the class so i haven't read anything pertaining to the class discussions. also i have missed 5 days of this class and i have not turned in 2 out of the total 6 assignments. the most i could make now in this class is an 80 if i make a perfect score on every assignment from now on. needless to say i'm very thrilled about that!

ok i'll break it down. this is seriously, no joke, all i have gathered from days upon days of lecture: either plato or aristotle or socrates or one of those hombres got killed in jail cause he drank some poison or something. skip forward about twenty thousand centuries from then, and then descartes was a pissy frenchman who had all these ideas about reason and god and morals and some blah-hoop-de-doo bullshit and another guy hume did too, and thats wehre i'm at in the class.

the problem with philosophy is that all of the material is written in such a wordy and unappealing manner that i quickly lose patience trying to digest or comprehend it. i just say fuck it, and doodle the words "FUCK LEARNING!" in the margins of my notebook, or i scribble little black marks that look like tornadoes. i have a hard time to relating to really dated stuff, that is pretty much why i'm like "fuck religion" cause the bible is way long as fuck and there is no way i would even bother reading that boring ass piece of shit to even find out if i had a concrete opinion about it. its the same way with this philosophy junk.

so i'm all sitting in class wondering what these guys would do if they had youtube.com. they would probably not give a fuck about sitting around and thinking all day. i know i definitly dont think about anything for at least 80% of the time that i am awake every day. why the hell did those guys have to go and ruin it by coming up with an assload of retarded texts for a horrible class to be based on? i'm sure they did it cause they were bored like me. if they had access to youtube that never would have happened.

DON'T ASK!! JUST READ!!

2010-02-21T22:29:00.000-08:00

THE START OF AN ANNOYING PISSED OFF DAY. THIS DAIRY ENTRY IS MEANT TO SHOWCASE HOW ERUPTED I AM ABOUT BEING PISSED. I CAN'T TAKE THIS LFIE OF SHEET ANYMORE! I'M ABOUT TO FREAKIN BEAT MY DAMN KIDS FOR REAL! I UNDERSTAND THE MEANTALITY OF THE 1800S AND 1700S NOW. KIDS GOT DROP KICKED BECAUSE POOR 1800S WAGON WORKERS NEEDED PUNCHING BAGGIES! AAAGHGHGH I KNOW I SOUND MEAN AND CRAZY BIT MY SON SEAN (prounounced shuh-awn) HAS BEEN FUCKING WITH MY FREAKIN HEAD LATELY! HE WOKE ME UP THIS MRONING (230pm on saturday aka momma and fathers sleep day!!) BY PLACING HEADPHONES ON MY EARS AND THEN PLAYING SOME ANNOYING SONG HE LIKES! AGH! AGH ! AGH!!!!!!!

ps

i cheated on my husband artest because he is ugly now. there i said it. he looks like a bole weevil (keyword being EVIL!!)

ok so heres a picture of sawn. my sun (aka joy in my life but not freckin lately) he is holding slime that his grandpap sent over in a brown basic box. we all thought grandpaps was sending some cashola for drugolas (oops. wait do the cops read the blogs online?? i guess ill find out lol) but insread he sent sen this damn kiddie sceince expeirement kit. fuck it smelled like sicko shito. so shawn made some slime (i call it gak after nick gak from the 90s) and meessed with it all freckin day. he even made me gel his hair up and take this professional quality photo of him sliming with the slime. he wastes my photo skill talent. damn fuckin kid. AAGGGGGGGGGGH. i do love him like on mothes day once when he made me breakfast in bed and i sold the breakfast to this old woman (she SHOULD be in a nursing home but her kids are too poor or just dont GIVE A FOOK). i sure made some druggo dollaz dat daye.

so heres a pic of my father aka seans grandpaps. this fucking guy. boy do i have some stories about this faggot. woo weee. jeeeeeeez-us. diz lil gee. diz gee. gee hehehehe.

anyway this old man used to spank me out of bed ery day and make me go to school and shit. mufucka made me read and shit. diz mofo ma me ree foo. nah foo. nah.

so i straight left dat fool win i was 29 and i moved down the street into my husbands house.

my huzzy name be artest. i met artest when i was 2 or 3 cause artest and me da are best friends and shee fool. but i didnt fawl in luh we artest teel i was like 16 or 17.

artest can finger a bitch. i tehl u wat.

if okaama tin aladin was a girl and was there by fingered by artest homette (girl version of homie) would not be terrorizing da world. homette would be fuckin a fool . eah fool fyeah.

diz be a pichure of my dream wedin.

keyward DREAM.

this is a picture of a serious fight me and my sister marquette got into back in our last week years. boy did we ever brawl. boy did we ever beat the shit out of eachother. boy did i ever have do dig a 6 foot hole in the ground and shove her bitched out body in a shallow grave cuz i'm not strong enough to dig 6 goddamn feet.

part of that entry of was fiction. which part?

i'm about to be wasted in this picture. aka i'm about to get fucked without even knowing it ( i call those time travel fux or time travel rape out)

boy did my vagina bleed like it twas a spagetti sauce factory. and smelled like it too (spagetti cauce smells usually like onion, garlic, tomato and more but who fuckin cares)

needless to say being that wasted and that old and that high on druggo buggos sure makes you depressed the next day. the entire next day i made my sun sean give me a foot rub. he kept asking me why i smelled like the mr.gattis buffet. lol! what if he knew the truth. yikes!

BEFORE

a pic of my movie star daughter goo goo fresh (her real name is martha but she is a real bitch about names. don't ask. SERIOUSL DON'T ASK!!!!!)

AFTER

lol

CRUSHING YOUR DREAMS PART 2

2010-02-20T21:08:00.001-08:00

Excerpts from my book "The 8th Grader's Guide To Life"...

2010-02-17T00:23:00.000-08:00

from my latest draft of the "my life as an 8th grader" book(let?) im writing:

here is an expert:

dat 1st day of school:

Kill the fast blue bee robot as it speeds by to shoot you, then jump to the nearby tree to your right. It's barely visible, but there's a yellow spring hidden in the treetop. Hop on it and you'll shoot upward to five more rings. Go forward past the fish jumping up out of the water and then jump in the top of the second tree past that bridge. You'll hit an invincibility monitor that's there but that you can't see that well. Run forward until you reach a yellow spring opposite a cliff overhang. Jump to that area, but watch out - the cliff overhang crumbles underneath your feet, as do all others that look like this one. Go past about two more of these falling edges until you reach a blue post. It will turn red when you run past it - it's a checkpoint. You'll start back at that point should you happen to die.

day 2nd dayz of school babe-et:

To kill the caterpillars who are covered in spikes, roll in front of them so
that you hit their faces. This will allow you to kill them without hurting
yourself. If this fails, avoid them altogether and move on. At the first
major slope, hit the brakes and go inside the room under it when the moving platform dips down. You'll find three monitors containing thirty rings. If you can hang onto them plus the others you get in this initial above-ground area until you get to the exit, you'll be able to play in one of those coveted bonus stages, so stay on your toes.

da tird day ov school: (no one cares about you at this point lil 1)

You'll come to some humped ledges that catch fire when you stand on them. Commit their shape to memory so that you know not to lollygag when you hop on one and continue ahead to a shield that will aid you in keeping those fifty precious rings. Go down into the underground place and move slowly through the Plexiglas pillars that move up and down. When you come to a button, you'll probably stand on it to make the hanging spikes move up, but when you come off it, it will slam back down.

entra note:

make sure to get a goddamn pager and a screen name for aol im (i chose richmanpoorman1977) cause i like rich and poor men and i like the year punk blew up from the indie ground)

end excerpt:

wa u tink?

ME AS A CHILDE

2010-02-14T20:28:00.000-08:00

QUESTION FROM THE NET

2010-02-14T19:51:00.000-08:00

appu k
Can husband drink wife milk?
1 year ago
Report Abuse

cherry b
Omfg are u on crack omfg i cant stop laughin hahahahahahaha thats funny u gotta be kidding me just the thought of that makes me wanna puke i could picture u sucking her breast lmfao she gotta rock u and burp u too i guess i have a question why do you wanna do it?If u can answer that send the answer to kristina12354@yahoo.com
Source(s):
Plz send the answer its too funny lmfao
1 year ago
0% 0 Votes
0 Rating: Good Answer3 Rating: Bad AnswerReport Abuse

damodarb...
The milk of the wife is for the child not for the husband.But if he wants to taste it or take it n the wife allows it then there is no law to prevent them from doing so.However, it is undesirable.
Source(s):
personal opinion
1 year ago
0% 0 Votes
2 Rating: Good Answer1 Rating: Bad AnswerReport Abuse

wagga wagga
first thing is that why you want drink milk of your wife .you not have any milk at home /??or you want to only for test,then you can but you should leave for your baby.
Source(s):
mind
1 year ago
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dragonri...
Omg NO don't do it. If the husband drinks the wife milk his manhood will shrink to be the same size as the babies. Don't do it. Very bad luck.
1 year ago
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mama t!
wife milk. hahhahahahahahaah! yeah i guess he sure could.. i couldnt stomach it though, just the thought of drinking my own "wife milk" makes me kinda cringe for some reason. not sure why....
1 year ago
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Shiv
I think it is against their relationship. If husband drink milk of his wife than what is difference between new born baby an d him.
1 year ago
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gungirl
yes- theres nothing damaging about it. we drink milk from other animals so why not?
1 year ago
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My kids are driving me CRAZY!!!!
wife milk? Yes he can if he wants. I've heard it tastes really sweet. My fiance has gotten a couple of tastes not all on purpose though.
1 year ago
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★ Stella ★
Appu you're odd, what is your obsession with women's breast milk? Whatever floats your boat mate!
1 year ago
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Lovely
Sure, but I wouldn't if I was a husband.
Source(s):
Eww.
1 year ago
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queeny52
yes you may, but noone in his right senses would actually do it !!
Source(s):
common sense
1 year ago
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tabish
Well he can , there is no harm but there must be some left for the infant.
1 year ago
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ravi
Yes Offcourse, but if the husband not a ediot or know how to suck milk from wife.

so funny
1 year ago
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Jaison D
Nice Q. He can. Because she is a property of him.
1 year ago
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avinash
are you crazy?what stupid question do you ask?you are upto destroy our culture and traditions
1 year ago
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kily
but think about u r baby if not enough for baby
1 year ago
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akash M
yes why not
1 year ago
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John B
yes its great
1 year ago

NOTES FROM THE GROUND

2010-02-14T18:52:00.000-08:00

FACE BOOK ADCICT

2010-02-13T23:23:00.000-08:00

TAKEN FROM MY 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER'S HOME BLOG

2010-02-12T18:12:00.000-08:00

I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING MAN.

2010-02-10T21:37:00.000-08:00

practicing any current real non internet art style except joke conceptual art making fun of all art except joke conceptual art is futile and foolish. photography should only be the tool in which to document you and your art school budz pissing on a mary ellen mark photo...i should quit everything except jokes. no one can criticize a joke. it makes me feel warm and safeish.

CRUSHING YOUR DREAMS

2010-02-08T21:54:00.000-08:00

PROBABLY NOT THE CLARET - MY BOY TRUDGE

2010-02-07T12:46:00.000-08:00

here we go! some scenes from my new portrait doc series being produced for my own production company "my boy" productions (copyrights 2o1o)

TRUDGE TALKS ABOUT THE PERFECT WIFEY from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

my boy trudge talks to me for my doc about his perfect woman / wife / femil. he has some taste. das all i gotta sey.

TRUDGE ORDERS SOME WINE WITH CLASS from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

my boy trudge orders a glass of that nice fine wine he's been yelping at my about for the last few dahys.

MY BUDDY TRUDGE WATCHES DA ANI-MAULS from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

some taughts taught by my budde trudger pinkle. good mon.

DAS MY BOY DOM

2010-02-06T19:41:00.001-08:00

FAV BANDS OF THE STARS from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

my boy tom delone chilling outside the chicken shack cert speakin to my boy tedrick about his fav bands. always been a fan of tom's choice in sunglasses.

MY GOOFY LITTLE WORLD

2010-01-31T11:06:00.000-08:00

my son terrace got his picture onto the wikipedia artical for freak. pretty cool. now all he needs to do is get a freakin job *sob*

SPRAY THIS IN MY CHILDES EYEBALLS

2010-01-26T10:39:00.000-08:00

SPRAY MEDICINE IN MY CHILDES EYES #1 from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

this is the new medicine i want for a special occasion as a treat for myself

SERIOUS INFO VIDEO ABOUT SPRAY MEDS #1 from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

some more detail'd info abot dat spray info

THOUGHTS ON THHE NIRVANA REUNION

2010-01-23T17:18:00.001-08:00

if kurt cobains vocal and lead guitar tracks from all the albums were played over the live playing of kris novacellic and dave grole and then pat smear played also live guitar ryhrhm tracks. it would work in a real way. i thnk

CHECK OUT THESE NERDS I INTERVIEWED...LOSER CONTENT

2010-01-22T10:44:00.000-08:00

MY INTERVIEW WITH TWO CARD CARRYING NERDS from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

theses bitches deserve summer school

THIS BABYISH NERDLING I INTERVIEWED from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

this guy deserves to repeat pre k

This kind of shit bumms me out so much. seeing these worthless baby do gooder infant googoo heads. these kids deserve to repeat grades 9-11 for entirnity . i fucking hate these little bitch posers fruit cakes.

anyway check out these legit cool non nerdlings (would hang out with them irl) why don't i have friends like these agin?

OLD TWITTER POSTS (CLICK TO ENLARGE PICTS)

2010-01-20T07:24:00.000-08:00

WORRED 2

2010-01-20T07:18:00.001-08:00

THESE BASIC THOUGHTS OF MINE

2010-01-19T19:58:00.000-08:00

WORRIED

2010-01-19T18:48:00.000-08:00

ANSWERING MACHINE MASSAGE SCHOOL

2010-01-14T21:30:00.000-08:00

ANSWERING MACHINE MASSAGE #1 from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

I GOT THIS MESSAGE ON MY CELL PHONE BACK A COPLE YEARS BACK WHEN I WAS TRYING TO BE A NANNY IN NYC. THIS WEIRDO GUY / GIRL / MAN / KID CALLED ME AND I SAVED THE MESH

ANSWERING MACHINE MASSAGE #2 from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

THIS IS A MESSAGE I RECIEVED ON MY CELL BACK A COUPLE YEARS AGO. IT WAS FROM THIS GIRL IN MY CLASS. WE ALL CALLED HER "PIGLET BIGLET" AND SHE LEFT ME THIS MESSH.

these are some old cell phone answering machine message i got wheni was living in mannyhattans back in my nyc film school daze (days). check em out.

upcoming preformance art pice

2010-01-13T22:08:00.000-08:00

a can of duster sits atop of a pillar. i slowly appraoch the can and then deeply inhale the contest. i exchale and then fart for 21 seconds straight and then put the can down and sit at my chosen seat.

a serious post (shocking content exposed)

2010-01-09T12:56:00.001-08:00

MY LATEST CRUSH

2010-01-09T11:16:00.001-08:00

i relationship with jerryina (above) is only based online but we are planning to meet at a publlic place soon enough

SELF PARFAIT

2010-01-06T19:38:00.001-08:00

STILLS FROM A PERSONAL COMPUTER GAME I DID

2010-01-05T20:25:00.000-08:00

UNEASY FEELINGS DURING CAMERA VIEWING

2010-01-02T23:08:00.000-08:00

NEW YORKS EVE

2009-12-31T19:49:00.000-08:00

SEARCHES

2009-12-30T11:13:00.000-08:00

WEBTHOUGHTS (USE FULL SCREEN MODE)

2009-12-16T21:42:00.000-08:00

BROWSING THE WEB #1 from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

PLEASE USE FULL SCREEN MODE

this is my direct web based thought process record for my psicho doctor

FORCED TO LEARN GOOD

2009-12-13T17:16:00.000-08:00

he said arnold ejaculated on a piece of "cinnamon raisin" gum and made him eat it. i am pretty sure cinnamon raisin gum doesn't even exist. he also claimed that when arnold won the teacher of the year award, he came downstairs with a pitcher of orange juice, came in it and forced the kids to drink it.

OLDIES BUY GOODIES (MATT LYONS SHOUT OUT)

2009-12-11T22:19:00.001-08:00

READ THIS POST WITH PAULY SHORE'S VOICE IN YOUR HEAD

2009-12-09T23:29:00.000-08:00

this is my bud dy michael rudabagher. he's a keyboard based player from my local apartment complex. he goes to school with the other loke kids and tends to be more musically interested than the usual kids. when kids are out playing cricket (just kidding football or throw ball) mchael is playing his keyboard based musical intrustrments. michael has a temp(ure) though. which makes him very annoying to be around. he throws constant kid fits where he cries and yelps like a little bitch for hours. he sounds like a real annoying whiner / yelper kid:

he is obsessed with that cain. he wont chill with out that cane. he loves dat cane.

i noticed that my 22 month old hates it when i feed her lean. she just zonks out and starts to die. real weird.

i noticed that my 28 month old LOVES lean and gets real open to taking naps when i force feed her staight codeine based liquisdz

i know im not the father of the year but im better than whats going on in darfur.

2009-12-08T10:17:00.000-08:00

REBLOGED FROM MILEY CYRUS' BLOG

2009-12-07T17:03:00.000-08:00

Posted on Dec 07, 2009

I met lady gaga!!!!!I met lady gaga!!!!!I met lady gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!I met gaga!!!!!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

TYPICAL TEEN SHIT

2009-12-06T23:27:00.001-08:00

wa waw wa wa wa waaw wa w a waaaaaaaaaah.

cry baby banger baby bitches.

MY FRIEND JOEY GOT LAID LAST NIGHT AT A CLUB WITH A GIRL

2009-12-06T21:46:00.000-08:00

"Ok..

Last Sat me and one of my homies went out to the a local night club downtown, well its more like a lounge/club...anyway I happen to run into a co worker of mine from a diferent department. He was there with his GF and told me that his girl cousin was there celebrating her freinds bithday and that we should come say hi to leech of some drink and mingle with the bitches.

When we eventually found them later that night me and my boy knew we had hit the jackpot and just needed to infiltrate. They had a reserved table by the dance floor with 2 bottles of grey goose and a bottle of Remy. We waved down my co-worker and made our way in to the area by the bday girl and 6 of her freinds. I introduced myself and helped myself to some Remy ofcourse shorlty after me and my boy started playing freindly with 2 of the chicks. I shit you not 4 out the 6 were hot so there was an abundance of ass to go around with just one other dude hanging around. Before we knew it me and my homie had been pulled to the dance floor by some of the girls for some dick burns. After grinding and freaking these horny bitches for at least 30min we headed back to table and proceeded to drink their alcohol sum more, we must of had 3/4 of that fuken Remy bottle with coke (soda). We choped it up some more and I gave my number to one of the chicks (co-workers cousin).

When it was time to leave we walked the group of bitches back to the parking complex, on the way there I strategically pulled her cousin away from the pack and was flurting/playfull with her and made the offer to come and hang out with me some more but she was like no I cant im with my freinds blah blah blah. So they all took off and we headed home, me and my homie had just finished burning a J and I was about to drop him off when I get a call at about 230am. I did not recognize the number and awnsered it and who was it?? My co-workers cousin, ooh yeah.. and what does this dumb broad say "what are you doing" LOL 30 minutes later I am checking in at the holiday inn. We get to fuking all night but strangely she wouldnt suck my dick what a rude bitch. We part ways in the late morning and I was happy cuz she atually looked good after sobering up LOL. This may not be a one night stand cuz she has text me a dozen fucken times since then think Ima beat it up a couple more times but gotta be carefull cuz my bitch is almost off of school. Anyway thats my story, long as fuck like my cock, I gotta crash now so bask in my coolness."

HEALL YEAH THATS MY BOY. HE MADE ME POST THIS AFTER HE SENT IT VIA TEXT MESSAGE BUT I THINK IT WAS WORTH TRANSCRIBING THE TEXT. HOMEBOY GOT FILTHY AND CREEPY WITH A BITCH. HELL YEAH. HE FUCKED A GIRL AND SHIT.

on different note i've been watching this cool documentary about text messaging called "inside da text".

THIS BITCH

2009-12-05T21:52:00.001-08:00

LETTERS TO DOD

2009-12-04T18:27:00.000-08:00

Writing To Dad #4 from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

Writing To Dad #3 from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

Writing To Dad #1 from rusty kelley on Vimeo.

My thoughts on tiger woods from rusty kelley on Vimeo.